Friday, November 30, 2007


You know, you wouldn't think sitting in a car for 6 hours with about an hour break in between would make you totally exhausted. But MAN. When I got home last night, I was beat. I put on Beauty and the Beast for LB, and crashed on the couch. I woke up to her sticking her Moomintroll in the toilet, saying "Potty Potty!" I will tell the story of the origin of the moomintroll and our Hippie upbringing in a later post.

My appointment was at 10:30 am, so I left a 3.5 hour time window to get there. My mother, being constant doubt in my life, told me that I should leave 4 hours to drive, and based on her past psychic predictions, and my inability to ignore her advice, decided to leave at 6:30 am instead of my planned 7 am.

By the time I got to Albuquerque, 2 cups of coffee and one green chili burrito later, I was pulling into the hospital with 5 minutes to spare. I made a quick stop to the ladies room, and waited for my appointment. I waited for about 20 minutes before I was called in for my 2 minute ultrasound. My ovaries were indeed "quiet", which means they aren't growing any more follicles than planned and are ready to be pumped up with the hormones, starting tonight.

I then had to drive across town to get blood drawn, and take a urine test. Silly because I was IN a hospital, and yet I had to drive to a DIFFERENT one for the tests. Oh Well. That took about 15 minutes.

It was noon when I finished my appointments, and I was desperately craving a trip to Sweet Tomatoes, but the worry seed had been planted. It also was starting to snow, and the drive from Albuquerque to Bloomfield is pretty much as remote as you get,; a place where you DON'T want to get stuck in a snowstorm. So I bit the bullet and turned straight back towards home, trying to get ahead of the storm.

I didn't even stop once until I got to Aztec, NM. I ate McDonalds in the car on the way back (I swear they put crack in it) and got home in time to pick up LB at daycare. Not a snowflake in sight.

Today, on the other hand, is a complete different story. Welcome to winter, Durango!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


Here's the rest of my week:

Today my Dear Sweet MIL goes into her surgery, and I am using the money from pawning my engagement ring to send her flowers. Irony? I think its perfect actually. Since I will soon be a resident of the Three Springs Area, I may trot on over there to see her, if she is still in the hospital this weekend ( I hope not though).

I drive back to Albuquerque tomorrow for my next ultrasound. My IVF coordinator in Santa Rosa says that they are doing one to make sure my ovaries are "quiet", whatever that means. I guess it lets them know if I have been doing my injections correctly so far. That moment of revelation is stressing me out.

On Friday I sign the lease to my new apartment. Finally it will be just me and LB, in a sparkling clean, 2-story townhouse with brand new carpets and her own bedroom. And for only $730 a month! Believe me, a 2 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom rental in Durango for that price is unheard of. I really am a lucky duck.

I also get to call my fertility clinic to get instructions on how to administer an intramuscular shot. I found a ghetto instructional video online last night, and it was pretty funny. Unlike MY situation, in the video there was a ken doll-like hubby sticking a ginormous need into his barbie wife's butt, saying "There, all done, honey."

In MY video, I will be trying to stick myself in the ass, while looking over my shoulder in the bathroom mirror. YAY. Anyone want to jam a 1 1/2 inch needle into my booty? I'm taking applications, since I will be living solo as of the day I start to shoot myself with egg-growing hormones. Great timing huh?

Saturday is the big move. All of you out there who want to get your workout by lifting couches up a flight of stairs, please let me know. I promise I will buy you dinner and a round of drinks for helping me! In JL's case, I will buy her a pot of echinacea tea :)

After all of this is over, I am going to throw a nice relaxing housewarming party, and you are all invited. Maybe we can have a Johnny Depp/Ewan McGreggor/Taye Diggs movie marathon and bake cookies in my new oven? Hot Cocoa and Kahlua? Coffee and Bailey's? Sound good?

Love you all and this year I am going to make up all the Christmases I missed, so expect something good from Santa!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Head Up

I woke up this morning, and thought about continuing my routine that I have fallen into this last week:

  1. Get up at 5:00 am
  2. Give self shot in belly.
  3. Go back to sleep until LB wakes up screaming.

I was fully prepared to crawl back under the covers, but as I was drawing up my injection, I said to myself "You're only gonna feel worse if you go back to bed, so suck it up and do your new Crunch DVD."

That urge to retreat to the layers of warmth in my bedroom is like heroin to me. The Pisces in me wants to return to the unconscious world of sleep, where nothing has to be on a routine, or make any sort of sense. Where I'm not the responsible one, obligated to worry and stress.

The fact that Ive gained back the 5 lbs Ive lost, makes this urge even more overwhelming. I want to curl up in my layers of Thanksgiving fat, and doze off again. Even if its just for 15 minutes.

But I resisted. I put the DVD in the player, and pouted through my super-perky aerobics. At least its a start, right?

And I am finally moving this weekend! See the ticker? It's almost here, and since I have such wonderful friends who are helping me, I know that we will be able to ignore the fact that its supposed to snow at least 6 inches on Saturday...oh AND Sunday.

Monday, November 26, 2007


I'm back. It really was the worst Thanksgiving ever. Besides seeing my family (which is always fun), the series of events that were conducted almost broke me.

LB was sent home from daycare on the day before Thanksgiving with a 102 fever. Her temperature stayed about 101-103 the whole rest of the week, making it impossible to keep her happy. Of course my grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousin wanted to play with and oogle over poor sick baby constantly, which only made her crabbier. On top of that, her usual daycare runny nose had become a green slime river, which refused to desist. She also had an attractive cough, that wreaked havoc on her lungs every time she inhaled.

Lets just say that sleepy time was hell. LB went to the dark side every night, (understandably, since she was unable to breathe). I think I lost my hearing on one side for an entire day. Humidifier did no good, steam shower did no good, Baby Tylenol, no good, Baby Motrin...THANK GOD.

My uncle is also in the final stages of MS. He is in a full-on, high powered go-cart, since he has lost all ability to move from the waist down. This go-cart weighs over a 1000 lbs, and our entire living room had to be cleared out, so he could maneuver around. My mother almost had a heart attack every time LB was on the floor near his cart, fearing she would be crushed under the wheels. He has hearing aides, but can't seem to follow any conversation, so he gets frustrated, and usually ends up in a screaming fit, saying we aren't including him. He has a very loud, Jewish-from-the-Bronx voice, that stands out in a small mountain town (especially at Applebee's).

LB's daddy's mom (I call her my Mother-in-Law, even though we aren't married), told us last week that she has breast cancer, and is getting a mastectomy in a few weeks. We are supposed to take some pictures of Her, LB and me, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep it together and look happy. I love my MIL dearly. She is such a beautiful and gentle woman, and LB adores her as a grandma. She has helped me so much, as a new mother, and I respect and admire her greatly. She has had such a hard life, and I wish there was some way I could block all forms of further suffering from impeding on her.

To top it all off, my baby daddy himself decided to let me in on some secrets he has been hiding from me for 2 years. I can't really discuss the details, its too painful. Lets just say he only proposed to me (long ago) because he felt guilty for his past actions and circumstances, and didn't know how to remedy it. So he thought he could make everything better by asking me to marry him. As of now, I had pretty much given up all hope we would ever be together, but it still hurts to know that he NEVER thought that things would work out at any point in time. It hurts to know that there was such a long absence of love on his part; and me standing on the other side without a clue.

Yeah, pretty much the worst week ever. Shooting yourself up with hormones can't help the mood either, huh? I hope everyone else had a better holiday.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Hellish November continues

My mother was in Santa Fe until this morning. She went to meet one of her old hippy friends from Alamogordo, and they spent the weekend looking at art galleries and shopping for grandbaby clothes. During all the merriment, my mother apparently dropped her cell phone in front of a little coffee shop called "The Aztec".

Ive left my phone several places before: the bar, public restrooms, parks, restaurants, on top of my car, etc... I'm sure everyone has lost their cell at one point in their lives. What do you do? Usually wait until someone finds it, dials a number and eventually gets in contact with you. Or you back track all the places you were until you find it.

Not my mother. She immediately panics, calls the phone company and has her service disconnected. So when the coffee shop called me, I had no way of getting in touch with her. My mom's friend is hippy to the core, wouldn't dare touch the idea of looking like a yuppie on her cell phone, so she doesn't own one. My mom didn't leave the number of the hotel, so I couldn't call her there.

So I email my mom, thinking she must have her laptop and will be checking it at some point before she leaves. Nope. I don't hear from her until 7:30 last night, when (of course) I am putting Lilly to bed, and am unable to hear the phone ring. She says she "thinks someone must have stolen her phone." Who steals a cell phone besides an enraged lover, or a member of the FBI? Why would someone snag a cell phone when they could have snagged her cash or credit cards instead? If someone is THAT desperate to make a call, I'm sure they would have wandered into a hotel lobby and asked to use the phone.

Either way, when I listen to the message, I call back the number and no one picks up. Today she calls me at work and says "WELL IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU BEFORE I LEFT SANTA FE!"

I almost lost it on her. I was so pissed. My entire yesterday was filled with miscommunication, and late correspondence.

My friend who has agreed to go with me on my trip to California all of a sudden has her OWN egg donation to go to, and can't go with me anymore. So now the agency is getting really pissy at me. They wanted to book my flight YESTERDAY, but my friend's phone line was busy for almost 45 minutes.

Now I have to find someone who is able to take a whole week off of work during Dec 6-Dec 13. Yeah, THAT'S going to be easy. So if anyone wants a free trip to California that week and would like to watch a toddler while i go under the needle, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!


Friday, November 16, 2007

Bad Mommy

I have been really frustrated this week, and I'm taking it out on my poor kid. Her sleep schedule has been out of whack, probably due to almost biting her tongue off on Sunday. She woke up almost every 2 hrs that night, and by 5:30 am, I think she was done with trying to fall back asleep. So I got up and stumbled through about 15 minutes of my workout before she was fed up with watching me.

Tuesday morning was similar, except by 3:30 am I broke down and let her sleep in the bed with me. Sharing a bed with a 17 month old consists mostly of her backing up into my stomach, trying to nest somewhere between my chin and my hip bones, while simultaneously hogging the pillow. She doesn't even HAVE a pillow in her bed, why does she want one now?! needles to say, sleep stayed away from me till my alarm went off at 5. I DID get up at 5:30, I'm happy to say and got through the dvd. It was a very half-assed workout, however. I was not satisfied.

Wednesday was a bad night. I was so exhausted that I went to bed at 9:00 pm! I haven't been in bed that early since I was in 5 grade. I thought I was smart, catching a few extra winks, so I could get up early and REALLY get a good workout. No Dice. LB was NOT sleeping, and I refused to put her in the bed with me, afraid I might sleep through my alarm in the morning. She screamed, I tried rubbing her back, she screamed, I tried singing a lullaby. She screamed so hard I was afraid he tongue might spontaneously start spewing blood again. By 2:30 am, I knew I was not getting up for my workout, and I probably wouldn't for the rest of the week, if this continued. So I yelled at my toddler "LAY DOWN AND GO TO SLEEP!"
This, of course only sent her into startled, hiccupy sobbing. So now I was feeling pissed off, completely exhausted and ridiculously guilty. I was selfishly taking my anger and guilt for not being able to participate in the workout tree like I wanted, on my child who was most likely, still in pain from her accident. So I rocked her until she finally feel asleep. I did not get up to workout that morning.

Yesterday I woke up at 5:30 and did aerobics till 6:00. Then I ate 3 cookies. What was the point of THAT. Pathetic.

Today I woke up at 5 with ALMOST a full night of sleep.Feeling good, I really pushed myself hard, determined to my time worthwhile. 20 minutes into my workout, LB arose with a fury. After 20 minutes of trying to pacify her, I was so angry about my pathetic week of exercise and junk food snacking, that I once again yelled at my baby.

Let me just say this: Once you have a baby, your needs to NOT come first anymore. You will forever be sacrificing your looks, your health, your self esteem, your pride and your wants. You will go out into public in a bathrobe, holding a puking baby in order to get medicine. You will be ashamed of your appearance, but you will have to suck it up, because your kid is sick, and the last thing you want is to end up in the ER with them.

The fact that I have gotten to the point where I am yelling at my poor, damaged child is a low, low point in my role as a mother. So what if I didn't get to the cool-down in my workout? Who cares if it is my favorite part, and gives me a sense of accomplishment? So what if my "perfect" plan of finding a time to exercise alone, is occasionally marred by a sick toddler? I know I am a mature, responsible adult, but at 3:00 am when a baby is screaming at maximum decibels in your ear, all you can think of is "I AM NEVER GOING TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER WORKOUT IN MY LIFE, AGAIN. I AM GOING TO KEEP EATING COOKIES AND NEVER BURN THEM OFF. MY TODDLER IS MAKING ME FAT!"

I know its horrible, and my stressing is only making it worse. Today I have to go over my egg donation contract with my lawyer in California, and it is 20 PAGES LONG. I also have to call my fertility clinic to make sure I know how to self-inject my medication (I start on Monday). This is totally stressing me out, because it states in the contract that if the clinic decides I don't know what I'm doing, the couple can charge me for ALL expenses involved if my eggs never get big enough. Ive only read the directions a million times, and I know I am going to be fine, but after reading 20 pages of legal issues involved in this process, my head is ready to fall off.

I have TWO potluck to attend today as well, so I will be eating pizza and tacos. Yay. Can I stress about that too, please?

Sorry my posts are always so long winded, but I think it helps my neurosis a little.

Gotta work, Laters!

Thursday, November 15, 2007


DAMN. DAMN. DAMN. I've already eaten THREE chocolate chip cookies and its only 1:00 pm. There's aren't the little keebler cookies either. These are the big, soft catered cookies from the local bakery.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Why do I have no self-control?

I actually resisted going over to the other building (like I usually do) when the secretary makes her "cookies in the break room" announcement over the loudspeaker.
I waited all the way till my boss forced me to make a run to the mail room. Then I knew it was over, because I had that feeling of excitement in my tummy, the "YAY I get to eat a cookie!" feeling. Its pathetic because I actually get excited over the thought of eating a cookie. It's like Christmas for me, walking towards the break room: Ooohh I wonder if there is any chocolate ones? How big are they going to be? How many can I stash in my hoodie for the trip back?
I pretend I'm getting a whole bunch for the rest of my office when people look at me greedily clutching a pile of cookies. Then I even offer the cookies to everyone when I get back. Its sick, but I get angry and possessive if they actually want one. I don't show it of course, but its in me.
Maybe if I stop being so dramatic and stop fantasizing about cookies all the time, then this wouldn't be such a big deal. I would have some will power for a change. Its like when I hear that voice on the intercom, it might as well be saying "Hey crackheads, all the rock you can smoke in the break room!"
When I was pregnant, I ate a chocolate chip cookie everyday at 1:30 pm. It was my after lunch snack/dessert, whatever. But it was literally like clockwork. Maybe I developed the habit then and it has stuck with me ever since. Its sad, I remember feeling the unbridled joy of eating and not worrying about what I looked like. I think a lot of pregnant women go through the same feeling. The freedom, the relief of not worrying about your weight for the first time in your life.
Anyway, that's all over, and now I have to find a backbone somewhere in my body. I think I am the first person in the world who has "dig deep" and find the strength to stand up to a plate of cookies.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

New Goal

I plan to start drinking more water, to counteract my snacking urge while sitting at the computer all day.

You Are 44% Healthy

Your diet is healthier than the average American diet - but that's not saying much!
You already know what's good for you. Just eat more of it.
Maybe I can work on my statistics a little, hmm?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Today I had a rough time getting up. I think I pulled a muscle doing Carmen Electra's workout yesterday, which only makes me feel old and fat. There is even a disclaimer in the beginning that says BE CAREFUL OLD PEOPLE OR YOU WILL HURT YOURSELF DURING THIS DVD. I was like "Haha, I bet some granny is trying to seductively crawl across the floor and suddenly throws her back out." 24 hours later, my hamstrings feel like they are on fire. Grrrr.

I'm also pissy because I feel like I wasted my money on 2 of the 3 hula dvds. The buns & abs one is good, but the other two are so cheesy, I wanted to puke. Someone actually wrote original songs that you learn a hula dance to. The songs are so blatantly marketed to bored housewives, it was almost offensive. One lyric actually says

"I've been doing laundry all day, now I just want to play."

Someone out there actually responds to that? Thinks that's funny? Please, you are spending a good chunk of money to produce a workout dvd, why don't you make up some creative lyrics. I don't know about all the other mamas out there, but I definitely DON'T want to workout to a song that reminds me of the domestic slavery that revolves around my homelife.

Another thing I am trying not to focus on, but is really getting to me is my stagnant weight loss. JL pointed out that we have been doing the workout tree for over a month now, and I SHOULD have lost more than 5 lbs. JL, who is a complete workout rockstar has lost A WHOLE DRESS SIZE!!! WOO HOOO!!

My body is the type that loses and gains weight very quickly, but has always stayed within the range of 135-155 lbs. I have been able to lose 5 lbs a week at one point of my life, and without getting up at 5 am every morning. I guess those days are over. I am getting old. I thought working out every day for 30 minutes would at least knock off a couple lbs a week. I have also been eating better, more salads, fish, fruits, etc....but I do have the occasional piece of pizza.

I am happy to say I have only eaten one brownie in a whole month, and have not been to McDonalds, Burger King or Wendy's either. I did eat Taco Bell yesterday though. I eat a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast everyday, I thought that would make a difference. But obviously its not enough. I am going to have to make even more drastic changes to my diet. I really don't know how I can squeeze any more workout time into my schedule.

It makes me want to cry to think that I can't even have the random piece of pizza. Am I going to ONLY be able to eat salad if I want to lose more weight? Am I going to have to give up tortillas completely? I have always been privy to the "Everything in moderation" philosophy, but apparently no more. I look at my paternal grandmother and aunt (both of whom seem to share the same round-faced gene pool with me), and realize what my future looks like. I need to step it up or I will be one of those out of breath moms who can't climb up the slide at the playground to save their stranded child.

I keep making excuses for myself. Well if I weighed myself with my clothes off, then I would be lighter. Oh its these hormones I'm taking for the egg donation. Well I don't have a gym pass, and I can't workout anytime. anywhere like everyone one. All LAME. But DAMN I just want to get below 150. That was my goal last week, and I failed. Its frustrating, and I think this is usually when people give up. Carmen says that a person is mostly likely to stop working out when they don't lose the weight fast enough.

I am not stopping. I like the "me" time in the morning, even if it is before dawn. I like feeling refreshed and proud of myself afterwards. It does give me a little anxiety the night before though. Sometimes I lay in bed and think "OH GOD what if I don't get up in the morning when my alarm goes off, and I lose the workout for the day?"

Ugh. I really disgust myself on how my pathetic piscesness comes spewing out sometimes. Grow a backbone girl! Stop stressing, get over it. I guess that's why I have a blog, right? To let it all out. :P

Monday, November 12, 2007

Since Everyone else did it...OKAY

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 15% Conservative, 85% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

You Are Iceman

You tried to live a normal life, but it just wasn't possible
A bit of a slacker, you rather tell jokes than cultivate your powers

Powers: turning self and others into ice, making ice weapons, becoming nearly invisible

You Are 76% A Child of the 90s

Wassup!?! You remember the 90s like they were yesterday.
And you're ready to open up a can of whoop-ass on any other decade.

You Should Drive a Green Car

You're the type of driver who sees driving as a necessary evil.
You much rather be biking or taking a pleasant walk to where you're going.
And because of this, you tend to be a "green driver" - as best as you can.
Whether this means driving a hybrid, supporting alternative fuels, or simply not littering out your window.

Monday Solitude

Well I'm deserted in my office. My female boss is in Washington DC, taking her parents and hubby's parents to do the grand tour of our capital on Veteran's Day. Her father-in-law is a WWII Vet, and she remarked to me how few soldiers are left from that era. My dad's dad was a WWII Vet, and my maternal grandfather was in Korea. Crazy to think how one day our kids and grandkids will think of WWII like we think of the Civil War. Vietnam will become WWII, and Iraq will become Vietnam, as far as age goes. Wow I am getting old.

Minor emergency last night. LB was walking into the kitchen holding one of these (which its bigger than her head), and she tripped on the rug, falling face first onto the ball. Her top teeth promptly went through her tongue, and OH MY GOD. I have never seen that much blood come out of her mouth before. I thought she bit it off. The bleeding finally stopped after stuffing a whole towel into her mouth, and eventually she stopped crying. Poor Kid. I felt so bad, I let her eat ice cream and vanilla yogurt all night, while watching the Wizard of Oz.

I googled "Tongue+bitten+orajel" because I still had a little bottle leftover from her teething, and wondered if I could use it to numb her tongue. I found the answer on an Epilepsy Message Board, which reassured me orajel would be ok on an open tongue wound.

Also after visiting the dentist a few months ago, they recommended I get weird mouthwash called Biotene. Best purchase ever, because it kills bacteria (which I was worrying about in LB's mouth) AND it contains no alcohol (ie, no screaming baby). They hygienist even told me it was safe to put a little bit on a rag and give it to toddlers. So I've been trying to keep the huge crater on her tongue clean with the mouthwash, and she seems to be doing fine this morning. Poor grandma gets to feed her applesauce and oatmeal all day long though.

So now I'm at work, which is kind of lonely, cause everyone has it off. There is Sean, the maintenance man here, putting together a desk, so at least I have someone to talk to. I also get my injectible medications this week for the egg donation. Thankfully I don't have to drive back to Albuquerque until the 29th. Apparently the first round of injections are with tiny needles (they compare them to insulin shots), so I'm not really that upset about it. The second round of shots are inter-muscular, so errrr BITE THE BULLET.

My mother was on the phone to my sister in Alaska last night, and when she told her I was going to be donating my eggs in California (very close to where I was born, actually), my sister says,

"Wow, its kind of like Salmon returning home to spawn in the same waters they were hatched in. Funny."

Geologist Humor. Oh, my family.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Out of Whack

So I didn't post yesterday because I was driving the 6 hr round trip to beautiful Albuquerque, New Mexico. I got there, spent 15 minutes in the doctor's office, and got in my car to drive home. Ugh what a drag. I did treat myself to three brand new CDs for the long-ass drive. Yes, I bought my first Britney Spears CD on itunes Tuesday night. I also bought the new cd from Little Big Town, as well as Paul Van Dyk's CD- "In Between". Eclectic mix huh? I also had my own mix, which I named "Egg Donor Mix 2007" haha- Songs ranging from "The Sweetest Girl" to "Crazy Bitch"

In other news, I have hacked the workout tree for two days in a row. I'm bad. Poor JL is the lone survivor, but I promise to get it together tomorrow. I WILL workout.

I was also shamed by a 3 year old on Tuesday, which may be one of the reasons I haven't felt inspired to workout. I was eating lunch at Himalayan Cuisine, and a little child at the other table point to me and says "Mommy, that girl is fat."

The parents quickly scooped their kid up and ushered him/her out the door. I called for the check, completely humiliated. That has never happened to me before. Nothing like a 3 year old to completely crush your good feelings on making an effort to lose weight. My mom says its just Karma, because I did the same thing when I was three. Ughhh. Either way, it was not a fun experience, and I can't wait for LB to do the same thing one day.

I also have this lingering feeling that my babydaddy is going to skip town. He's told me he is ditching his caretakership in Mancos, and feels like "starting over somewhere new". I really wouldn't know how to explain that to LB without making him look like a complete asshole. But I guess she'll figure it out on her own. Must be nice to be able to run away every time you have a problem.

I woke up numerous times last night, having bitten my tongue in my sleep. I think I need to go soak in a hot springs or something before I wake up one night choking on my own blood. Anyone have an idea on reducing stress that doesn't involve exercise or food, oh and it has to include a 17 month old toddler. UGHH.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Tuesday Quiz

Oh really? No Shite Sherlock..hehehe. I guess I'm African American as well. I was born in 1982, so they are only 3 years off. Thanks to the hotfessional, who I stole this quiz off of. Your blog is hilarious by the way. The rest of you...TAKE THE QUIZ!

You Belong in 1979

Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

You Are a Blueberry Margarita

Honestly, there's no one quite like you. And believe it or not, most people think that's a bad thing!

You're open, wild, friendly, wacky, and tons of fun. You have a big personality... and a big heart.

Monday, November 5, 2007


Things I'm not happy about today:

  1. My Egg Donation is NOT going to be in New York, but Santa Rosa, California instead. I guess they mixed up the coastlines or something. I was really looking forward to finally visiting the Big Apple.
  2. I am going to have to drive to Albuquerque for my Ultrasounds instead of getting them here in Durango. I will have to take time off work for these days, as it is a 6 hour round trip. I really cannot afford to do that, ON TOP of the time I will have to take off during the actual retrieval process.
  3. I have a late meeting today, and have no one to pick up LB from daycare. Everyone is out of town, sick or busy with work or school. So I will have to leave my meeting early, another step down on my job performance.
  4. The horrendous display of shoddy footballing by my home team, The Broncos. It was just too painful to watch, honestly. I kept yelling at the screen "Champ Bailey can't cover the whole field YOU MORONS!" When even Mike Shanahan says he's embarrassed by his team, then you know it was a bad bad game.

However, these are the things I AM happy about today:

  1. Its currently 65 degrees outside, and we are pulling into the second week of November.
  2. I snuck out to see my apartment this weekend, and they actually have the numbers up, so I peeked into MY ACTUAL HOUSE!!! I saw MY ACTUAL CARPET! MY ACTUAL STOVE! I can't express how excited I was, I may even sneak out there later this week and harass a construction worker into letting me inside.
  3. I did my Hula Buns & Abs this morning, and was very satisfied with the results of my purchase. It was fun (even challenging), and I finished the whole thing before LB woke up.
  4. In general, I feel good. I can tell that my body is getting stronger. I can chase LB around the playground and not feel like I'm going to die afterwards. I am not scared of going to store, because I know I can head off my toddler before she rips down half the canned food aisle. I'm still stuck at 153 lbs, but my post-baby belly doesn't look so scary anymore, and I feel like I'm going to get below 150 this week.

So between those two conflicting ups and downs, I think I may be able to survive the day.

Friday, November 2, 2007

7:15 AM

Ok I'll make it short today. I'm sick of my long-winded rants. This is my dilemma:

  • 5 am - Wake Up Call
  • 5:15 - Begin Pilates Hell
  • 5:30 - Call JL
  • 6:00- Start Coffee
  • 6:05 - Shower
  • 6:20- Drink Cup O Joe #1, Read Durango Herald
  • 6:30- Wake up LB (if she hasn't called for me yet)
  • 6:35- Feed Toddler breakfast (try to insert liquid Vitamins somehow)
  • 6:40- Get Dressed, Do hair
  • 6:55- Change LB's diaper, get her dressed
  • 7:00- Warm-up Car
  • 7:05- Do Make-Up, brush teeth, perhaps chug Cup O Joe #2
  • 7:10- Chase Toddler around house, trying to get her coat on
  • 7:15 - In Carseat, Ready to Roll
  • 7:16- Almost fall asleep at the wheel

How come I am ready for a nap at 7:16 every morning? I've HAD one (sometimes two) cups of coffee, I've been thoroughly awake for more than 2 hours. But as soon as I get in my warm car, flip on the radio, and drive the 15-20 minutes into town, its like I'm ready for dreamland by the time I hit Wildcat Canyon. Like Clockwork, everyday!

My mother says I may be coffee crashing, but I think its an excuse to get me to stop drinking yet another "thing that is bad for me", or maybe so she can drink the whole pot. But how can I caffeine crash only 10 minutes after I drink it? That's just wrong.

So Should I quit drinking coffee? Since I've quit drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and *ahem* other undesirable habits since partaking on this egg donation process, I guess I might as well go for broke.

What are your thoughts? Do you have the sudden need for a nap everyday? Do you think its related to caffeine intake? Ugh I guess that post wasn't really that short after all. I blame it on word vomit. :P

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Health Issues

I did not get up at 5 am today. I literally could not do it. I think all the tension from watching my first horror movie in over 2 years left me a little exhausted after I finally managed to stop looking for upside down sickles on my ceiling. Actually the movie was pretty funny for the most part. I think my favorite scene was when the town posse grabs their sawed-off shotguns (why are they always sawed-off in movies?) and hop in the back of decrepit pick-up trucks, and go off to kill some white-trash swamp-folk. Hmm....kinda like what you see in Bayfield on the weekend :) The movie also featured the hunkaliciousness of Irdis Elba, which I didn't mind at all.

But anyway, I sacrificed calorie burning for sleep this morning, and honestly, I felt even more tired when I got up at 6:30. Why, why why? What's the point in sleeping in if I feel WORSE. Maybe its the fact that my throat has gotten consistently scratchier in the last few days. I was informed TODAY that there has been Strep Throat running around our office, and nobody decided to tell us. GRRRRRRRRR. If I am getting seriously sick and its only the first of November, this winter is going to have me by the balls. If LB gets Strep, or any of my dear Friends who I have been around the last week or so, I am going to throw a fit.

Also if you haven't heard about the recent outbreak of Staph Infection, it has made its way to Colorado. CU Boulder treated 8 students who had it, and in the Herald they reported traces of it as close as MONTROSE. So my boss was just called to an "Emergency Health Meeting" about half an hour ago. I have a daughter in daycare. This is scary. So all of you out there, wash your hands and don't go near some one's dirty towels (I'm TALKING TO YOU GRADY, you work at the Rec Center!). God, I am so NOT the type of person to be paranoid, but a kid DIED from this a few weeks ago.

Ugh is November gonna be one of THOSE months?

Just be careful out there, ok? I love you all too much.