Monday, May 12, 2008


Well I did it. I moved over to wordpress. Here's the new page:

Cost of Living

Hope to see you there!

Mother's day hangover

Ok, I'm not really hungover. I had one box glass of wine last night, while uploading Mother's Days pics. I had a great weekend. The only downside was my guilt for not going to JL's grand opening, but I look forward to reading her blog about it!

On Saturday, while LB was with her dad, I played the 5th wheel to Jiji and Grady's romantic pilgrimage to Pagosa Hot Springs, and OMG, it was amazing. I haven't been there since they attempted to make it a "destination" spa (barf), but honestly, its wicked nice now. We even schlepped the local discount out of the front desk dude.

I had a little phobia about squeezing back into a swimsuit 3 YEARS OF NOT WEARING ONE. Yes, while Jiji and her man enjoyed a quiet breakfast with the soon-to-be in laws, I was panicking through the Mother's Day Sale crowds at JC Penny, trying to find the least hideous two piece I could find in less than an hour. I forced through 20 suits in record time, and what did I come up with? A brown and green top, and blue and yellow bottoms.

Being the raised-on-a-commune, fashion victim that I am, I chose clashing comfort over matching muffin top. Hey, I was just glad I wasn't the whitest ass on the patio, and HOT DAMN there were some baby belugas out there.

Mother's Day was fun, did the usual: gorged on pico de gallo/listened to dad play guitar, while mom ranted about politics and religion. Thank god LB is oblivious to all the drama at this point. I can't wait for the day she asks me "Why is Grandma so stressed?"

But the best part was having LB come home from her dad's house in the same pair of underwear that I sent her in. She looked happy and glad to see me, no cat scratches (like last time), and there was only a twinge of tension between Jed and I. Could it be that he actually followed my request NOT to put her in diapers? Could it be that one day things may actually be friendly between us? I've been walking on eggshells for so long that I don't want to let my guard down, lest I be (to quote the movie Clueless) brutally rebuffed.

Who knows, but it was a stellar weekend indeed.

Friday, May 9, 2008

TGIF = $600 in my bank account

So I was scouring my favorite blogs, wondering if anyone got to experience the sudden elation I did about 20 minutes ago. Yes. There it was. $600 magically appeared in my bank account this morning. CHA CHING!

What am I going to do with it? Umm.... pay bills? Pay OFF debt? I'm a single mom here, with a daughter who will one day grow up and ask me for a large sum of money (hopefully for college, not breast implants, an eye job, or god knows what kind of plastic surgery will be available in the year 2024). So my Economic Stimulus check will be going into a Money Market account, and I'm going to pray that the Dollar won't be comparable to a Peso by the time LB is 18.

Yeah, that's right. SCREW YOU DUBYA. You can't FORCE me to spend my money on cheap ass Wal-Mart crap. Why would I spend money on something that isn't even made in our country? Aren't we trying to boost the economy, (meaning, supporting our OWN workers) not pay for sh**ty imported junk, that forces people to work for less than a dollar a day? I don't think so ASSCLOWN.

I'm going to take the little leftover cash and put it right into my friend JL's Opening Day Extravaganza. She's a hard worker and her family has been running a business in Durango for 3 generations now. I may also put a little money into the Farmer's Market, and throw a big dinner for all my friends.

I've been thinking about money a lot lately, since my boss took me out to lunch to celebrate "our' one year anniversary, she mentioned a raise is in my near future. I was also thinking about bloggers who actually get paid, and the amazing writers they are. Ms. Single Mama, who I just discovered, ALWAYS has funny, fearless, single-mom-friendly posts, introduced me to ANOTHER kick ass blogger. This lady is probably a total celebrity, but since I am out of the TV loop, I only can guess what her true identity. Her blog made me laugh out loud at least 3 times. She writes in her profile that her blog has created enough revenue for her hubby to QUIT HIS JOB and be SAHD!

Now maybe I'm just going on a fantasy bender because LB has been having issues at daycare lately, but OMG THAT WOULD BE MY DREAM! I'm salivating over it, honestly. Especially with the evil, looming "every other weekend" notion cutting into my already meager mommy time :(

Working full time never bothered me before. I was confident that my daughter could grow up to be an amazing, well-adjusted human being as long as she knew she was loved, and I could spend every non-working moment with her. Now that her dad is sliding back into the picture, he wants his fair share of parenting time. I know technically I get to see her everyday of the week, but really, that's only 1 hour in the morning before daycare drop-off, and about 4 hours between pick-up and bedtime. Its the weekends that are the days when I get to catch up on everything I missed Monday-Friday.

If only my blog had readers that expanded beyond Durango (no offense Colorado kids, I love you all), or if my Banner wasn't a half-assed, Publisher-created image, or if I knew more about Photoshop, or had something fresh to offer, then I could be one of those Full-Time Bloggers, traveling the world with my Gemini child in tow. I could sit outside with my laptop, while she played with her My Little Ponies, sipping coffee and listening to K.T. Tunstall & Cross Canadian Ragweed. Ok, so I know this dream-land coma is only induced by the fact I stare at a brick wall all day long, and part of me is still dealing with the "never want to see his face again" factor, but it would be.....swell, wouldn't it?

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


1) What was I doing 10 years ago?
Spending $7.50 every weekend, so I could feed my Titanic addiction. Slinging chicken at KFC. Speed racing my first car: A 1990 Geo Prizm. Staying up late acting in Community Theatre. Wow, I had fun when I was 16.

2) What are five things on your to-do list for today?
Drive Gametime applications to Rec Center.
Pick up Jiji for Lunch.
Pick up LB from daycare.
Pick up Happy Meal.
Return to daycare for boring, nobody-ever-shows-up, lame-ass parent meeting.

3) What snacks do I enjoy?
Frank's Red Hot. Seriously, anything is edible with this stuff on it.
Twizzlers (a low fat candy) HAHAHA.
I like the superfabulous, gay-friendly, rainbow goldfish.
LB's mini fruit roll-ups.
Does wine count?

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire?
Buy my parents a vineyard in No Cal, so they could live peacefully at separate ends, and stay drunk all time.
Buy land....being a Coloraoan, DUH.
Make "Dream Fund" for LB's future.
Buy a gasless car.
Get Lasik and maybe some lipo.
Buy George W. Bush a clue.

5) Three Bad Habits
Adding too much garlic to everything.
Putting hot sauce on everything.
Being a movie snob.
Being lazy with my recycling.
Chatting/Blogging my life away.

6) 5 places I have lived…
Boston, MA
Shaftsbury, VT
My-am-Uh (Miami), OK
Petaluma, CA
Slidell, LA

7) 5 Jobs I have had
Pregnant Pizza Delivery Driver
Intern at the Jim Henson Company
Set Designer
Advertising Sales Assistant
Construction Worker

Colorado Kids, consider yourself TAGGED.

Under Staffed

A daycare center is like any other business operation: it has employees, rules and regulations, money flowing in and out, customers and bosses, and precious, precious cargo.

Sadly, like any other business, employees get sick, people have emergencies, bosses go on vacation, and 13 infants and toddlers are being cared for by 3 people. Kinda makes you wonder about those friggin crazy assess, The Duggars. Unfortunately, toddlers are unable to change diapers and do laundry, so the whole "child labor" philosophy that family employs, doesn't work in this situation.

I got a call at 2 pm yesterday, saying LB had 5 accidents at daycare and she needed more clothes and underwear. My jaw dropped. 5 ACCIDENTS?! Did they even TAKE her to the potty? I know she's a smart kid and all, but she really hasn't figured out how to pull her pants up and down on her own yet, and you still need to ask her if she has to pee. I don't think that's too much to ask for a 23 month old.

Since I live in the quaint mountain town of Durango, Wal-Mart is the only shopping option for baby undies. Wal-Mart happens to be on the exact OPPOSITE side of town. Apparently summer has come early, because I spent the entire 30 minute drive behind a GOD DAMNED TOUR BUS.

Needless to say, an hour of my workday was obliterated. The worst part was showing up at daycare, watching the chaos of crying babies, sweaty, miserable workers, and LB with her pants soaking wet. Her face lit up when she saw me, only to melt into a sob as I hugged her and rushed out the door.

Yes, I made my daughter cry. Yes, I left her at a daycare where they didn't have enough people to run it. Yes, I returned to work, where I had 50 summer school applications waiting to be filed, when the deadline was last Thursday.

Yes, I drank two glasses of wine after I put Boo Boo to bed.

I better get a friggin raise soon.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Have to

I think one of the truest parenting moments on screen consisted of Steve Martin in the obvious classic "Parenthood" when he turns to the camera and says with complete hatred

"My whole life is 'Have To' "
Lots of moms ask me how I can stand watching someone else with my daughter. How I can sit there and look at another woman wiping her nose, kissing her on the cheek, hugging her and asking her how she is. Married moms always say to me "I just couldn't do that."
I guess the answer is I don't have a choice. My daughter's father moved on without looking back, but that doesn't mean he disappeared into thin air. In fact, let me spell it out for you...
2 years down, 17 to go. It also means I have to deal with whoever he adds to our lives. Right now its a 23-year-old mom, her 6-year-old daughter and the 4-year-old sister. Depending on how long this relationship lasts, I may get to know all these people reasonably well. I don't think married people understand this concept, how many people are involved in your child's life when the parents start new lives.
So for the people who don't know how I stand living the life I've created for myself....thanks for the compliment. I bet you are thanking your lucky stars that you don't have my life. It makes me feel good that I can stomach something most married moms couldn't, because YES, it does make me want to puke every time I see Jed's girlfriend kiss LB, or when her kids call her "sister." But if I'm an emotional wreck 24/7, what kind of a mother am I?
I refuse to be that mom. I'm going to survive this, and kudos to me if you couldn't do it yourself.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Since when did I move to L.A.?

So on a day when they AREN'T doing controlled burns in the area, you can see snow capped mountains on that horizon. And people are wondering why allergies are so bad this year? This is the reason I spend $30 a bottle on Zyrtec. Yay.