Karma

So, what goes around comes around, right? But is it also bad karma to feel an evil sense of happiness when a person gets what is coming to them?

My baby's daddy has a bad case of Shingles; a very painful, truly disgusting form of herpes. Since he has moved in with his new girlfriend and her two kids, they all have had an outbreak of chicken pox, and he managed to develop the more serious version of it.

They say that people who have emotional and physical stress, and who don't take good care of themselves are more susceptible to the virus. Is that him in a nutshell? Yup.

Is he suffering? Yes.
Am I happy about it? .......ummm.

Can I really be happy about someone else's pain? I think that in itself is asking for more pain to come my way. However, I think I can feel some satisfaction that I take GOOD care of myself and my daughter, while he is off doing God-Knows-What.

At the same time, it makes me scared. Scared that he might put LB at risk. Scared that I maybe I shouldn't let her out of my sight. Is this how people become paranoid moms? Is this the reason why my mother moved us from LA to the backwoods of Vermont? Is this the reason why my grandmother has given her friggin poodle a heart condition?

I don't want to be that mom. I want to give my daughter strength and intelligence, not hide her away from the world. But she's so little, I have to protect her too. I guess I have 3-4 weeks to devise a plan before he can have any contact with her.

Part of me (the Pisces part) thinks how the hell did he know that his stanky girlfriend's kids were gonna get sick with the chicken pox? But then the other part says "Why the hell did he decide to move in with her in the first place?"

What do you think?