Friday, January 4, 2008

Karma

So, what goes around comes around, right? But is it also bad karma to feel an evil sense of happiness when a person gets what is coming to them?

My baby's daddy has a bad case of Shingles; a very painful, truly disgusting form of herpes. Since he has moved in with his new girlfriend and her two kids, they all have had an outbreak of chicken pox, and he managed to develop the more serious version of it.

They say that people who have emotional and physical stress, and who don't take good care of themselves are more susceptible to the virus. Is that him in a nutshell? Yup.

Is he suffering? Yes.
Am I happy about it? .......ummm.

Can I really be happy about someone else's pain? I think that in itself is asking for more pain to come my way. However, I think I can feel some satisfaction that I take GOOD care of myself and my daughter, while he is off doing God-Knows-What.

At the same time, it makes me scared. Scared that he might put LB at risk. Scared that I maybe I shouldn't let her out of my sight. Is this how people become paranoid moms? Is this the reason why my mother moved us from LA to the backwoods of Vermont? Is this the reason why my grandmother has given her friggin poodle a heart condition?

I don't want to be that mom. I want to give my daughter strength and intelligence, not hide her away from the world. But she's so little, I have to protect her too. I guess I have 3-4 weeks to devise a plan before he can have any contact with her.

Part of me (the Pisces part) thinks how the hell did he know that his stanky girlfriend's kids were gonna get sick with the chicken pox? But then the other part says "Why the hell did he decide to move in with her in the first place?"

What do you think?

4 comments:

Ree said...

That's a tough one. I mean, if LB came home with chicken pox and gave it to you (or even to him, if he was living there), wouldn't it kinda be the same thing? Chicken pox isn't spread by being a skank. ;-)

But I can understand, wholeheartedly, your feelings about it. I really can.

I guess the whole thing boils down to, "Can you prevent him from taking her to 'their' house?" If you can, then DO IT until you're comfortable (hell, they may split up before then.) Otherwise, darlin', all I can do is offer hugs.

Colorado Girl said...

For me, I think it would be hard for me to completely trust LB going over to the new place for awhile. I mean, just because she has kids doesn't mean she's a good mom and someone you want LB to be around without YOU there to make sure nothing goes down. Eventually (if they stay together that is and she proves to be a good person) then okay, but knowing a little of all the other stuff has gone down, he really hasn't made very many good choices either, not to mention they really haven't been together long, so what does he really know about her?

Anyways, as far as the shingles go, I honestly don't want to wish badness on anyone, BUT, being a Leo and being protective of one of my best friends, I totally think it's karma catching up with him. You can only be shitty to people for so long before something comes around and knocks you on your ass.

Anyways, see you this weekend =) Love you =)

Elly said...

I believe it goes without saying that you should feel 100% comfortable not allowing LB to hang out with them as long as they're sick. After that... insert torture of splitting up here. I'm sorry, hon. Good luck. =/

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