In like a lion, Out like friggin Godzilla

After a week of 50-60 degree weather, complete with LB's and my first hiking trip of the year, I woke up this morning and yet again had to dig the ice scraper out from under the seat of my car. GRRRRR. Its now snowing, and I'm sobbing quietly at my desk.

Yay for Colorado, you BIG TEASE.

In other news, I took my POS to the car wash for some much needed R&R. I am ashamed at the amount of trash that I extracted from my vehicle. I found coffee-stained paperwork from my EGG DONATION, which means I have not de-trashed my car since early December. I won't even mention the goodies that LB had left crushed under the floor mats. It was obscene. I kept looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was looking at the utter pigsty I cart around everyday.

Also, my baby daddy's (who I haven't heard from in over a month now) sister hooked me up with a refurbished waterproof/freeze proof/shockproof camera that should be arriving tomorrow. I AM BEYOND STOKED. I kinda wish I had it this weekend, because the cataclysmic state my kitchen was in on Sunday morning DEFINITELY needed documentation!

Daughters

When I was 12, I went to a sleepover where the activities entailed dancing to Whitney Houston's "Queen of the Night", eating pizza and cokes, and watching scary movies. Fun huh? Well it would have been fun, had the scary movie been of the normal "tween" scary movie selection. You know, Scream, Scooby Doo, House on Haunted Hill..those type movies.


What did we watch?



The Exorcist.



Ok so the effects are cheesy, its horribly dated, the subplots are kinda boring, but that didn't matter to me. All that mattered that night was a 12-yr-old girl (oh same age as me!) was possessed by the devil and raping herself with a crucifix. Hmmm didn't get over that for a decade or two.



Honestly, I started developing a phobia of young girls, since they always seemed to be vessels of evil in EVERY MOVIE I SAW. Another reason why I thought I would never have kids. Another reason why I was psyched to have a baby boy.



I wanted nothing to do with the entire mother-daughter horror that the Exorcist represents. I wanted to stay as far away as I could from that awful notion of uncontrollable fear that a mother has when she can't help her daughter.



Sadly, its something that all parents experience. Maybe not the extent of Exorcist proportions, but sometimes there is nothing you can do for your child. Each time LB wakes up and can't be calmed, I feel that fear. And even though I am a grown woman, each time I hear a scream from her room, I revert back to my 12 yr old self, feeling the blood drain from my face during that slumber party.



Last night was a quiet one, at least.

Toddlerisms

LB has put together her first two phrases. I don't think they qualify as real sentences, since her enunciation is pretty weak at this point. In other words, her phrases sound like literary mashed potatoes. Lets see if you can figure out what she's trying to tell me

1. Whahappintamoosik?


2. Taberwhahyou?
   

Funny, cause both are questions and both are shouted at maximum decibels.

The first phrase appeared while she was figuring out how to turn the clock radio/noise maker on and off. I was folding laundry, listening to the radio (having yet to re-purchase a CD player or iPod), when LB discovered that her button pushing makes the music disappear. A shocked look flew across her face, and she asks (with great concern):

"Wha happin ta moosik?"

It didn't take her long to figure out how to turn the radio back on, and say with satisfaction

"DERR TIS."

Its a game now. She pushes the button, turning the radio on and off, repeating these two phrases with growing excitement, until she gets frustrated at my lack of attention and starts screaming.

The other phrase popped up during my attempts to get her into her bedroom at night without a fight. After asking her if she was ready for bed, and getting a flat out "NO!" I switched tactics to inanimate object manipulation.

I started saying "Teddy bear is waiting for us to read him a story, lets go find him. Teddy Bear, where are you?"

This quickly turned into a frantic "TA BERR WH AH YOU???!"

Ooops. Lets give my 19 month old anxiety issues. Yay.

I guess its cuter than the orders she gives to me:

"MAMA GIDDIT"

Fortune

Last night I took myself and my 19 month old out for dinner. Alone. Since she is going through the anti-public-space phase, I was a little worried about how she would handle a restaurant without back up on hand. I was also still in my work clothes, which consist of skirt, heels and hose, and are not easy to chase a toddler in. But I took a chance and headed in for some Chinese.

I am so lucky to have such a great kid. She of course was her usual charm-the-pants-off-everyone-in-a-2-mile-radius self, and as long as I kept switching up the entertainment options every few minutes, she was fine. In other words, a tight circulation of book reading, block stacking, water sipping, peekaboo playing and thing naming was required to keep the dark side of a Gemini at bay. Much thanks to the employees of Mongolian Grill, who got the food on the table within 15 minutes of our arrival. Double yay. I left fat tippage.

I also managed to squeeze in a trip to Wal-Mart for some brownie mix, and purchase a buy two-get-two free DVD deal from Game Stop. All without a major toddler breakdown. I was wicked proud, but mostly relieved. If I can get through an evening like that, AFTER working an 8 hour day, and still get LB to bed before 8:00 pm, it makes me think I can handle this single mom thing after-all.

I was so pumped, I actually baked brownies after LB went to bed, instead of popping in my new DVDs. And the best part? I didn't even eat any of them. Nope. I have decided to give them to the construction workers who have basically saved everyone's ass this week by using their front end loader to plow our cars out.

Well I would have given them brownies, if I had followed the *High Altitude Directions on the box. Oh well. Another stop at Wal-Mart tonight will remedy this problem. Hopefully I will end up with yummy chocolate goodness instead of high altitude sludge cake.

Also. My fortune at the Chinese restaurant:

You need to forgive that person today. Just believe me.

Hmm...

Day One of the Workout Tree

I was praying LB would go the full 11 hrs last night (man that seems like a long time to sleep), because I knew that 5 am was going to really hurt this morning. The daycare syndrome seems to be fully attacking my toddler's nose, and has now infiltrated her lungs.

With the recent recalls, I've been scared to give her ANYTHING, and I don't want to take her to the doctor when I know I'll just get the standard "Try sitting with her in a hot shower." So instead I've hooked up a humidifier in our room. She's had two nights this past week where she woke up in a coughing fit and and couldn't get back to sleep, so I was really crossing my fingers that the humidifier would do some justice.

At 5 am when my vibrating alarm went off, LB was sleeping soundly (ok, wheezing a little). I woke up completely at about 5:15, which is only a third of the way through my pilates video, instead of half way (yay an improvement!). I woke poor JL up at 5:30 and neither of us sounded very thrilled, but at least we actually followed through. What happened after that is any body's guess. I BETTER read about it on your BLOGS LADIES!

I took a shower this morning, which promptly woke up my bubbo a half an hour early, but other than that, I think it was a highly successful day one of the tree. LETS KEEP IT UP! WOO HOO!

Haha, I know they are all thinking "this new haircut has literally gone to her head". Love you guys!

P.S. I'm now eating my toddler's Gerber Puffs for a snack. They only have 25 calories per 60 puffs. Now THAT is pathetic.