Sedona for the Holidays

Stinky Bear got a BIIIIGGGG Present last night from my mother. It was one of these. All to herself. No siblings to share it with, and at the age of 18 1/2 months. Can we say spoiled? Nah, just really really lucky.

After single-handedly putting the contraption together, I tried to fit it into the one empty corner of my new apartment. No dice. The thing is bigger than I am.

I think we are finally settling into our place, even if there are still boxes laying around, and I have neither a TV or computer, which means no cable or Internet. I am only HALF a real person, right? I have been abusing my work computer privileges for a good 9 months now, and I think its reasonably harmless. I'm not surfing for porn.

Boo Boo Bear has noticed that there are lots of loud noises in an apartment complex, and we are on the quiet end of the building, right by the staircase. This actually gives us the bonus of side-street parking access, as well as a tiny extra window, where there would have been an adjoining apartment instead. But most of the noise comes from INSIDE the apartment.

Our toilet, for example, has suction force of a black hole. I swear I can hear particles separating mid-flush. This is actually a WELCOME change from the pathetic run of toilets that I've had. You know the ones that blow a raspberry at you, gurgle for a second and call it quits, leaving the turd rotating in the bowl. Gross, I know. I used to have to keep a cooking pot of water by the toilet so I could add that extra water power during flushing. Now THAT is white trash.

But not anymore. LB's eyes go wide when the toilet flushes, and she promptly says to me "Toilet LOUD!"

Our Heater is also at maximum tunnelforce capacity. My To-Do lists regularly get blown off the counter, as well as the coupons I've been saving. LB rounds them up, and usually puts them in the garbage, saying "TWASH."

Other than that, I am relishing everything about my living situation. I only have one question: When I can I add a kitty to 24 hr girl party?

Home

I don't know how to explain the utter joy a person gets when they finally have their own place to call home: A spot where you can put up little forms of permanence, like photos on the walls, curtains on the windows, soap in the bathroom, a welcome mat in front of your door. Even up putting my own roll of toilet paper gave me a helping of the warm fuzzies (yes I get to be cheesy).

When you don't have a home of your own, you are constantly on your toes, wondering "Can I leave my purse here?" "Where should I put LB's toys?" Your car becomes your mothership, where you stash emergency clothes, diapers, toys, Tylenol, food and other necessities. But its not your home, and you can never live there comfortably, especially with a child. You can't depend on things to be consistent, like your favorite chair being there at the end of the day, or having a place to cook dinner.

When we were living in a tent in Louisiana, I never felt safe, ever. I was always on the lookout for something bad to happen. Sometimes the houses we were helping rebuild looked more appealing than the concrete slab we had to return to at the end of the day. Not having a home is being on the move at all times, remembering that your belongings are few, and that everything else is borrowed, always ready to be returned, never having a permanent resting place.

From a tent, to the upstairs of a gutted house, to our boss's mansion, to the in-laws', to a caregivership, to a spider-infested cabin, to a falling-apart, stick-built craphole, to couch surfing for the last 9 months, to a brand-new, never been walked-on, carpeted, holy grail of an apartment, I have finally come home.

For those of you who helped make this possible, I don't know how to thank you. But please know, it is because of you that I can wake up in my own bed, and give my child a room of her own. Karma has nothing on you :)

Culmination

Here's the rest of my week:

Today my Dear Sweet MIL goes into her surgery, and I am using the money from pawning my engagement ring to send her flowers. Irony? I think its perfect actually. Since I will soon be a resident of the Three Springs Area, I may trot on over there to see her, if she is still in the hospital this weekend ( I hope not though).

I drive back to Albuquerque tomorrow for my next ultrasound. My IVF coordinator in Santa Rosa says that they are doing one to make sure my ovaries are "quiet", whatever that means. I guess it lets them know if I have been doing my injections correctly so far. That moment of revelation is stressing me out.

On Friday I sign the lease to my new apartment. Finally it will be just me and LB, in a sparkling clean, 2-story townhouse with brand new carpets and her own bedroom. And for only $730 a month! Believe me, a 2 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom rental in Durango for that price is unheard of. I really am a lucky duck.

I also get to call my fertility clinic to get instructions on how to administer an intramuscular shot. I found a ghetto instructional video online last night, and it was pretty funny. Unlike MY situation, in the video there was a ken doll-like hubby sticking a ginormous need into his barbie wife's butt, saying "There, all done, honey."

In MY video, I will be trying to stick myself in the ass, while looking over my shoulder in the bathroom mirror. YAY. Anyone want to jam a 1 1/2 inch needle into my booty? I'm taking applications, since I will be living solo as of the day I start to shoot myself with egg-growing hormones. Great timing huh?

Saturday is the big move. All of you out there who want to get your workout by lifting couches up a flight of stairs, please let me know. I promise I will buy you dinner and a round of drinks for helping me! In JL's case, I will buy her a pot of echinacea tea :)

After all of this is over, I am going to throw a nice relaxing housewarming party, and you are all invited. Maybe we can have a Johnny Depp/Ewan McGreggor/Taye Diggs movie marathon and bake cookies in my new oven? Hot Cocoa and Kahlua? Coffee and Bailey's? Sound good?

Love you all and this year I am going to make up all the Christmases I missed, so expect something good from Santa!

I GOT IT!

So. Drum roll please. I am now the newest resident of the Piñon Terrace Apartments, opening November, 2007. Yes. I did it. I found housing. WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

After only 6 months of being on a waiting list, they informed me that I was approved for a 2 bedroom, 1 1/2 bathroom, 2 story TOWNHOUSE! This is one of the apartments that everyone wanted, and I GOT IT! I don't know how I got so lucky.

For those of you who don't know, Three Springs is one of the newest, nicest little neighborhoods in La Plata county. Only 5 minutes to town, and TONS Of open space. Being a Coloradan, we are kind of like horses, and we can't live without our open space (snobs, I know).

There are also gonna open up lots of little shops right by the hospital, all within walking distance. There are bike trails, jogging trails, stroller trails, whatever you may call them, running through the entire neighborhood. In the distance you can see the La Plata Mountains (sigh).

I feel like a Skyscraper just fell off my back. Soon I will be truly an independent mama, living life without my mother's watchful eye constantly asking me "Are you sure you cooked those carrots long enough? She could choke." or "You need to get a rag to wipe her nose, its grossing me out."

CAN YOU FEEL MY JOY NOW?!!

House Party in NOVEMBER YALL!!